this morning 17 Dec, 3.15am. somewhere in Perak.

Stayed up until 5am in the morning yesterday to do my project, and yet there were so little things had been done! I hate my slow progression while doing things that need to be done urgently Grrr

Woke up at 10.30 am and will have lesson at 11am. I quickly jump off my bed and get my shower done. After showering and while I was combing my hair and OMG! I saw a white hair! I couldn't believe that! >.< I didn't dare to do anything to the white hair... I am afraid that it will worsen the condition. I heard people said that if you pluck a white hair, 2 more white hair will grow out. I am not sure how true it is, but I don't want to take the risk. I am only 23, and I don't want to have any white hair on my head!

How? How? How? I don't want a white hair at the age of 23!!! Is it because of stress? I promise I won't stress myself too much... White hair, can you go away? :(

The exam style in university is different from primary and secondary school, which we cannot bring anything into the exam hall other than your brain.

In university, there are mainly 3 types of exam. One of which is the one that we are familiar with, Closed Book exam and the second one is its opposite, Open Book exam. Apart from that, there is a thing called helpsheet in the university, which is a piece of blank A4 paper, and you can write whatever you want on both sides and bring it to your exam.

I am taking Engineering Professionalism this semester and the exam is not Open nor Close Book. We are allowed to bring in this helpsheet to the exam. And guess what, this module is a very subjective one, lots of concepts and moral values, and the most important thing is the notes are all words! Without a single equation! And well, I have to do this helpsheet, by copying all these notes of the entire semester into 2 pages of A4 paper!

And now, this is my helpsheet...















Hehe Cannot take too near.. coz my handwriting cannot make it hahha and might be taken as copyright infringement also :p

Spent 6 hours to do this! My half day gone!

The only thing that I hope now is this thing will be utilized to its max tomorrow. So that it really serves its purpose as a "Helpsheet" and help me hahha :P

Ok, I should back to my past year paper now =)

Be right back...

决定了不放弃。
开始看见了前方亮起了希望明灯。

谢谢你给我的肯定，
谢谢你的支持，
你让我看见继续的理由，
相信我可以做到。
我会加油的！
很高兴有你这位朋友，
很高兴遇见你，
真的谢谢你 =)

前面还有一关 ~ 家人。
家人的支持是最重要的，
我希望家人可以认同我所做的。

我准备向前冲!
为家人，为自己，为了支持我的你，
我会加油！^__^

It has been about 8 weeks of my internship. Another 4 more weeks and it will be the time to say goodbye.

What I can say about my internship is it wasn't as good as what I have expected. It wasn't fruitful so far. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my time. I mean, although I have thing to do... and the people there are treating me very good, somehow I feel like perhaps it would be better if I found some other thing else to do...something different...but I am not sure what the thing is...traveling perhaps? take special term and clear some modules perhaps? I don't know...

For the past 8 weeks, I have been doing documentation which I have to download the documents from the online filing system, namely Aconex. This is something new to me as I have to familiarize myself with the system and my role is to create a file directory for the Project Managers so that it is more convenient for them to search for drawings and documents. It is perfectly fine for me with this task...the only thing that I feel uncomfortable is I can hardly see them read the drawings. Sometimes I wonder what is the point of asking me to download if they won't be seeing it in the first place? So, this is what I meant with wasting my time... :(

There are some fun parts, for sure. The task that I deem to be challenging so far was tracking of cash flow projection and the cost and budget allocation for each packages in the project. Through this task, I learned how a cash flow projection is being done in actual case. It is totally different with the method that we learn in school where most of the time we are given all the information like the percentage of cost is needed in each stage of construction, and the cost needed is then worked out from the total project cost. While in real case, cash flow is projected base on S-curve. Project Manager has to manage in such a way that there will be enough money to be used in each stage and the overall expenses is kept within the budget. And I tried to make it as "S" as I could, but it was really hard. My supervisor said that it was a good try. :) I relieved, knowing that it was not perfect though... :P

I had a chance to go down to the site with the Resident Engineer to see piling works of conservatories this morning. I got this chance, finally, after procrastinating for weeks. The RE is very experienced and he taught me a lot. I had a chance to see how test pile and boring works are being done. There are many types of piling such as bored pile and driven pile. Many kinds of test pile will be done to make sure that the pile has enough capacity to carry the design load. The static load test was on-going on site and the work was really massive. Hundreds of rock blocks were loaded onto a single pile and the rocks were sitting on a huge metal platform. They were just finished testing and were unloading the rocks from the platform. It was really exciting to see the busy on-going construction at site as everyone was busy and rushing here and there, the supervisor giving command to the workers, the excavators digging the earth, etc... A good experience to understand how the site works. =)

Another person asked me the question that I have been answering for 1001 times. The RE asked me on our way back to the office : Why did you choose Civil Engineering? I think many people are wondering why a girl like me will choose this tough job as my first choice rather than other job else like banking or accounting, which suit girls more. My standard answer will always be "Interested lor... :P". In fact, I am still not sure whether my choice is right or wrong and I ever thought of changing my course once before...but now I think my interest in this field has grown if compared to before and I guess exposure has given me a greater feel for this career. Right now what I hope is that it will not be too late for me to graduate in 2 years to come. The industry is now in booming period and lots of projects are coming up. I hope I will be able to catch the boat on time and sail on my big ship. Hahahahah :D

I was studying until I have fallen asleep and woken up by this kind of weird dream...

I walked out from my room and a lady and 2 girls approached me. The lady was holding a metal (I guess...?) stick and she wanted to go into my room. I refused to let them in but she insisted. She pushed me away but she didn't go into my room. She stood beside the door and read out some spells before she left and the 2 girls just followed her. I wasn't sure what spell that she read. I just feel that it was terrifying and I still feel the fear even if I am awake now...

I then went to the toilet and wanted to take a shower. There were 3 girls were showering with their doors opened. I was shocked the minute I saw that and I wanted to leave. Suddenly one of the girl splashed me with water and my whole body became wet. I scolded her and thought that she will stopped splashing me with water. To my horror, the 3 girls walked out from the bathroom and they were walking towards me. Their size suddenly became so giant and looked like those guys in WWF tournament. One of the girls was holding a glass piece and saying that it had been a long time since she last scratched people's face. She walked towards me and she raised her arm that holding the glass piece. I was scared and screaming for help. I used my towel to cover my face but it was too late. She was in front of me and managed to scratch my forehead with her glass piece. My forehead was bleeding and I was crying. 3 of them grinned broadly and I managed to escape somehow. My forehead still bleeding and I was shouting for help. Nobody seemed be willing to help. Suddenly, I saw a policeman! I quickly ran to the policeman and hoped that he could help me. He was holding a guy with the guy's handcuffed (might be a criminal suspect I supposed). Out of sudden there was crowd around there and everyone was shouting "Selamat! Selamat!..." Mas Selamat has been found?! ...I ran to the policeman and told him that I was attacked by 3 girls. The policeman went to find the 3 girls and they had a fight. The "Selamat" was then escaped. I wasn't so sure how the story ended as I was awake then...

What a weird dream...I guess this might be because of there are too much things happened recently and I am sort of feeling insecure. There was a night when the fire alarm suddenly rang. Usually I don't bother about the fire alarm. But suddenly somebody knocked at my door and I was shocked. I jumped down from my chair and quickly opened the door. It was my neighbour and she told me it was the fire alarm on our level that was ringing. I was so scared and my tears dropped. I wasn't crying. Even the sound of lightning will make my tears drop too. I just feel that I am very scared when I am alone. I didn't know how to do when certain things happened. I am alone and I need to be strong. I have to protect myself but I can't take so much things sometimes. I have to settle everything myself. When I can't cope with that, I will just sit down and cry. I feel that myself is useless. I just can't be strong...

The more I write, the more emo I will be. Anyway, this shall be the last post before my exam I guess...I am in the midst of preparing for my exam which will be started next week. Tonnes of strezzzzz... >.< I wish I will do well in this exam. Good Luck and all the best for myself and my friends too. Isshoni Ganbaruyo! (Let's ganbatte together!)